“Dear Archavon” (or Why I Love VoA)

Dear Archavon,

I’m sorry to leave you this letter, but I don’t know the next time the Horde will control Wintergrasp so that I can swing by the Vault to talk to you.  You see, I’ve been doing some thinking… and I need to set our relationship straight now so no one gets hurt.

Yes, Arky, I know you are the Stone Watcher and nothing can hurt stone.  But just hear me out and finish reading.

It’s not you, it’s me.

Arky, baby, I’ve enjoyed the few times we’ve hung out.  I really have.  You have given me some really fun times and gifts.  But, I don’t see us getting any more serious or ‘going to the next level‘ together.  I know your attention is usually focused on only me when I come by… but that one party… you know the one.  That one time I wasn’t the only Warlock over? Yeah, I noticed how you ignored me.  If you hadn’t ignored me that night, I probably would already have my T7 4 set bonus, but no.

And you thought that first date you were sooo slick… giving me two pairs of gloves… one for PvE and one for PvP.  Yeah, I know.  I know you were feelin’ me out to see what I liked.  You saw how I gushed over the PvE gloves and made sure to only bestow PvE gifts upon me after that.  The leggings were nice (and a not-so-subtle hint).  But the robes, oh, the robes! How I love them!

But, it’s over between us, Archavon.  You know that new guy that moved into your building, Emalon?  I hear he’s bigger, badder, and gives out better “rewards.”

I need better rewards, Arky.

And you know I’m a sucker for badass boys.

We can still be friends though.  Maybe even friends with benefits.  But, the next time I stop by the Vault, don’t be surprised if I stay at Emalon’s place, alright?

~Sins & Souls~

Syrana

Comments

  1. Sevei says:

    Haha, omg that’s freaking hilarious! ^^

  2. Willel says:

    I feel kinda sorry for him. But I guess he deserved it.

  3. Sideshow
    Twitter: brianjz
    says:

    That’s funny. I got the exact same letter.

  4. Davlin says:

    I’m taking Arky out for drinks tonight, we’re gonna get sloppy drunk and bash women. Him, most likely, literally.

    Just like a chick to ditch a guy for bigger presents.

    I just want it noted (this one’s for you Arky) I hear Emulon snores…and…and….buys those gifts with blood money. Literally…he picked it up from wipes.

    Poor Arky.

  5. Kelinarra says:

    OMG…that is funny! I can’t wait till I am lvl 80 and can chase the badass big boys. I have been chasing a few lower bosses who just don’t compare.

  6. Larissa says:

    HAHA I love it. Always good for a laugh : )

  7. Samodean
    Twitter: Samodean
    says:

    @Sideshow: Gee… um.. well you could… you see… I think…

    Hrm… interesting woman you got there.

  8. Syrana
    Twitter: Syrana
    says:

    @Sevei – Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! :D

    @Willel – He’ll be ok, there are other Warlocks out there. ;)

    @Sideshow – It’s kinda my template. lol

    @Davlin – I’m sure Arky would appreciate drinks with you… he might even give you some rewards! :P

    @Keli – Soon enough you can help me chase down the badass big boys ;)

    @Larissa – You know you were thinkin’ it too… :P

    @Samodean – LOL Never trust a Warlock, amirite?

  9. Rosalyne says:

    This is wonderful. Thanks for the laugh! It was much needed!

  10. Syrana
    Twitter: Syrana
    says:

    @Rosalyne – Thanks and you’re welcome! :)

Trackbacks

  1. [...] go for an eclectic mix of RP posts, entertainment, introspection and opinions. From cat-capers to breaking up with Archavon, Part 15 of weekly RP to exploring the (anti)feminism of WoW achievements, there’s plenty to [...]

  2. [...] thus far: How to Raid Anything, A Letter of Resignation to the Sons of Hodir (which reminded me of Syrana’s break up letter to Archavon), and How to Negotiate With the Other [...]