Signs and Symptoms of the Elusive Locktard

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This Blog Azeroth Shared Topic has been brought to you by Gnomeaggedon, who has asked for others to share their thoughts on “<insertclasshere>tards.”  This topic is fun, amusing, sad, scary, and educational all at the same time.  We've all either been there or have seen others that just don't know how to play their class.  However, the class tard label tends to go beyond the newbie stage.

It has been my experience that Locktards are not as easily noticed as say, a Huntard or a Deathtard.  But when one is spotted, it can melt your eyes.  We, as players, tend to be the harshest critics of others that play the same class (and even spec) as ourselves.  Why? Because we know when someone is messin' up.  Others might not since they aren't experienced with the class.

Before (or after) you read my list, I think it'd be wise to also check out Saresa's list over at Destructive Reach.  I tried not to duplicate items she had in an effort to expand upon the list the best I could.

(Signs, symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment after the cut!)

Signs and Symptoms of Locktardness:

• Rolling need on a mace (No seriously, I witnessed this.)

• Spamming incinerate when affliction specced

• Using your voidwalker while doing dailies

• Whispering the other warlock in group to ask “which spells of ours will stack?” (at least some effort to learn, yes? but we're headed into a heroic..)

• Being asked to SS a healer – 1: Not knowing what that means, 2: Not asking what that means until after we wipe, 3: SSing yourself anyway

• Not knowing there is a 30 minute cool down on soul stones

• Not having minions on passive in a group

• Not keeping your skin/armor up

• Not providing or using cookies (aka candy aka soul cookies aka chocolate covered soul cookies aka healthstones)

• Not knowing there are different flavors (ranks/types) of cookies depending on another warlock's spec

• Fearing into packs of other mobs

• Not using shatter when pulling aggro in a group

• Not using Spellstone or Firestone

• Not knowing how to chain banish

• Not knowing how to chain fear

[Updated]

• Spending 4 GCD to cast every curse at the start of fights not knowing that a warlock can have only one curse up at a time per target. (Thank you zawer!)

Sure, it's likely that many of us have done some of these things from time to time or are just screwing around.  But that's not the same as being a Locktard.

Diagnosis of Locktardness:

• Will satisfy at least 10 of the symptoms at any given moment

• Will suffer from any one symptom continuously for more than 10 days /played

• Can be spread between classes

Treatment of Locktardness:

• Severe lashings from a vetern warlock

• Possibly other “alternative” medicines such as reading about warlocks

So, remember kids, knowing is half the battle.  Knowledge is power.  Old habits die hard.  If you see a warlock doing a variety of these things on a consistent basis, please, please, do us a favor.

Send them to me.

/cackle

/whipcrack

/hairflip

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