Signs and Symptoms of the Elusive Locktard

This Blog Azeroth Shared Topic has been brought to you by Gnomeaggedon, who has asked for others to share their thoughts on “<insertclasshere>tards.”  This topic is fun, amusing, sad, scary, and educational all at the same time.  We’ve all either been there or have seen others that just don’t know how to play their class.  However, the class tard label tends to go beyond the newbie stage.

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It has been my experience that Locktards are not as easily noticed as say, a Huntard or a Deathtard.  But when one is spotted, it can melt your eyes.  We, as players, tend to be the harshest critics of others that play the same class (and even spec) as ourselves.  Why? Because we know when someone is messin’ up.  Others might not since they aren’t experienced with the class.

Before (or after) you read my list, I think it’d be wise to also check out Saresa’s list over at Destructive Reach.  I tried not to duplicate items she had in an effort to expand upon the list the best I could.

(Signs, symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment after the cut!)

Signs and Symptoms of Locktardness:

  • Rolling need on a mace (No seriously, I witnessed this.)
  • Spamming incinerate when affliction specced
  • Using your voidwalker while doing dailies
  • Whispering the other warlock in group to ask “which spells of ours will stack?” (at least some effort to learn, yes? but we’re headed into a heroic..)
  • Being asked to SS a healer – 1: Not knowing what that means, 2: Not asking what that means until after we wipe, 3: SSing yourself anyway
  • Not knowing there is a 30 minute cool down on soul stones
  • Not having minions on passive in a group
  • Not keeping your skin/armor up
  • Not providing or using cookies (aka candy aka soul cookies aka chocolate covered soul cookies aka healthstones)
  • Not knowing there are different flavors (ranks/types) of cookies depending on another warlock’s spec
  • Fearing into packs of other mobs
  • Not using shatter when pulling aggro in a group
  • Not knowing how to chain banish
  • Not knowing how to chain fear

[Updated]

  • Spending 4 GCD to cast every curse at the start of fights not knowing that a warlock can have only one curse up at a time per target. (Thank you zawer!)

Sure, it’s likely that many of us have done some of these things from time to time or are just screwing around.  But that’s not the same as being a Locktard.

Diagnosis of Locktardness:

  • Will satisfy at least 10 of the symptoms at any given moment
  • Will suffer from any one symptom continuously for more than 10 days /played
  • Can be spread between classes

Treatment of Locktardness:

  • Severe lashings from a vetern warlock
  • Possibly other “alternative” medicines such as reading about warlocks

So, remember kids, knowing is half the battle.  Knowledge is power.  Old habits die hard.  If you see a warlock doing a variety of these things on a consistent basis, please, please, do us a favor.

Send them to me.

/cackle

/whipcrack

/hairflip

Comments

  1. Fulguralis
    Twitter: Fulguralis
    says:

    Sometimes lashings are fun. Ask my succy. :-)

  2. I would add

    Spending 4 GCD to cast every curse at the start of fights not knowing that a warlock can have only one curse up at a time per target.

  3. Syrana
    Twitter: Syrana
    says:

    @Fulg – Honestly, I’m afraid to ask your succy anything. :P

    @zawer – That is a great addition! I forgot about that… I’ve seen that happen a time or two.

  4. Lol. I see less bad lock than other bad classes, but lately I have been running into locktards who are doing 1200 dps at level 80. I did that much at 70.

    BTW did you guys get your Blizzcon tix over the weekend?

  5. Let me add a couple from me:

    1)Keep refreshing Curse of Elements every time it was overwritten by the moonkin who joined the raid half an hour ago.
    2)Life tap after one of the void zones has shown up under my feet or before AoE dmg.
    3)Keep casting SoC right before more adds are body pulled… that hurt.
    4)Use a spellstone running destro speced and using firestone running affliction.
    5)Use the summoning circle right before jumping from the Thadius platform, failing the jump and then, instead of teleporting, re-summoning the circle under the platform. But wait it gets worse right before jumping for the second jump I tried to re-summon the circle on the platform only to be teleported down, GZ me!

  6. Syrana
    Twitter: Syrana
    says:

    @Darraxus – Although locktards are not spotted as frequently, when they are – they tend to be really noticeable. :P And yes, we got tix, I posted about the emotional process on Saturday :D

    @Draxi – Welcome! And those are some great additions as well. :D

  7. I always use my blue fatty when doing dailies, i kinda like him, reminds me of bud spencer.

  8. Syrana
    Twitter: Syrana
    says:

    @kanaks – Prepare to be lashed! ;) Just kidding!